Ranfren OC ramble
June 23, 2025
I can't believe my ranfren hyperfixation made me spend money on a gakuran. I bought sebastian's raising sim too, but I didn't know I had to pay for domestic and international shipping. That fee plus the additional costs of the other cosplay stuff is gonna be diabolical. I don't even have the money for all this
I can't stop thinking about my OC Donnie, I really gotta draw him more. I'll probably add a picture of him later (which also reminds me to update my gallery) basically he's a human, sorta dog-person? It pretends to be Randal's pet for the hell of it. I wouldn't say she's an adrenaline junkie but she definitely cares too little about things. She goes along with Randal's weird games as long as it doesn't kill her. Note: No one in the house knows for sure what it's gender is so they switch from feminine to masculine terms, or sometimes they'll just say "it". Donnie's full name is something stupid like Sir Donnie von Cucumber Jones II. Donnie isn't the second to anyone, Randal just added it because it sounds fancy.
He doesn't talk much. Usually relies on gestures and non-verbal cues. Sometimes he says a few words if it's necessary. It's shockingly good at barking, but sometimes it catches itself purring and meowing from prolonged exposure to Nyon and Nyen. I think Donnie gets along the best with Nyon. THey don't talk to eachother but she really likes being in Nyon's presence for some reason. Donnie's favorite to observe is Sebastian. Sebastian is, reasonably, cautious around Donnie but after learning she's harmless Sebastian feels a little better. Since Sebastian is the most normal person in the house, he thinks Donnie is also weird. He can't imagine why anyone would voluntarily stay in that house.
With Luther, Donnie is okay with. It enjoys the validation Luther gives as it's an obedient pet that stays out of trouble. On special occassions where it feels like talking, Donnie would tell Luther about its people-watching discoveries.
Donnie stays out of the way of Nyen. In fact, it usually appeases Nyen's status as the superior pet just to keep the peace and continue observation. Internally, Donnie is a little intimidated by Nyen and copes with this by fawning.
Randal's view of Donnie is pretty mixed. Since Donnie is weirdly persuasive, Randal usually goes to it first to try out shenanigans. Luckily for Donnie, it's pain tolerance is slightly higher than average. They'd probably be fine with extremely risky actions as long as it wouldn't guarntee a painful, long death
You can usually find him on the porch guarding the house from nothing (it actually just spaces out for hours straight.) Donnie likes to watch Randal play games, but he never plays himself unless it's a game he's familiar with. He keeps to just a few rooms in the house which means he isn't fully familiar with the layout. Sometimes he'll sleep on the floor of Randal's room, other times it is on the couch, under a table, with Nyon, or a small space of some kind. Later on he gets a kennel of his own by Luther.
Coming Out pt2
June 4, 2025
When I came out my mom lowkey didn't make a big deal out of it which is perfect honestly
I didn't start off using queer terms but instead opened up by saying how I didn't exclusively feel male or female but being percieved as either didn't really bother me. She surprisingly understood even though she couldn't relate, maybe because I explained it with analogies and stuff.
I didn't tell my dad cause God forbid LMAOOO I'm one million percent sure he's gonna completely disregard it and hope it's a phase
Honestly I don't care if anything changes, I just wanted her to know just in case cause I'm tired of hiding stuff
Coming out
June 3, 2025
I'm thinking of coming out as trans to my mom. I don't think she'll fully understand, but I'm gonna tell her I just wanted her to know. Obviously my gender isn't one or the other but I'll just say I like presenting as both. I don't want it to change anything since I won't really care, but I need her to know just in case I might go on hormones or whatever or change my name. This shit is so scary. I was outed as bisexual by my sister in 2018 so I was forced to come out, but this is different. Especially with the increase in transphobia. My dad is not going to understand at all I'm pretty sure so I'm just focusing on my mom for now. Whateverrrr wish me luck I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.
Runny nose
June 3, 2025
You ever get a runny nose in a quiet class & u don't wanna keep snifflinf so you try ur best to suffer in silence
I remember when I was in my classes I would get the worst runny noses but I would be too embarassed to go up and get another tissue
Eventually my tissue would get too gross to reuse so I'd have to pray that it didn't get worse (it always did) I remember the walk back to the tissues would be so humiliating after having snot running down my face
Realistically, no one probably cares if I sniffle or get up to get a lot of tissues but you gotta understand I hated being perceived in any sorta way
If it makes any sense I got diagnosed with agoraphobia like two years later
random title
June 3, 2025
It smells like peanut butter in this room
AAAAAHHHHSDJLJBS
June 3, 2025
IM FUCKING TWEAKINGGGGGGGG
this hyperfixation gonna be the death of me i swear to god man . im starting to finally get ranfren shit on my fyp and it's the NORMAL FANS i am SO RELIEVED. I hate how being a ranfren fan has such a bad reputation cuz the comic itself isnt problematic it's just that theres too many weirdos in the fandom . . .
but anyways it's like 12:12am the time I'm writing this n I gotta get up early so I'll probably add another entry later
Ideas note to self
June 2, 2025
Always wanted to make an animation of my sona, maybe I'll animate something to Wrong Bathroom by Tribe 8, I already drew something to it but I never did anything beyond that. Storyboards help, maybe I'll try that
Art is so tedious
June 2, 2025
8:30am|| Looking at other artists' works both inspires and infuriates me. Like, captainhowdie for example! I've been so obsessed with their art lately. The way he can just animate, make art, and fill out sketchbook pages all while making it look so effortless?? literally beyond me. I wish I could fill out sketchbooks that looks as cool as his. Plus, whenever I animate I run out of energy barely into the rough sketch phase
Off topic but tell me why someone threw a fucking carrot at me today bro
Anyways, maybe I'll make more art. I've been bullying myself nonstop cause I think my art isn't as cool as it could be. I mean I think my stylized style is good enough but I'm too lazy to make it cooler. My semi-realistic art can use some work but honestly I don't even feel like working on that, I'll get there when I get there
As much as I complain about working on my website I actually really love having my own space for self indulgent things, it's pretty cool.
9:09am|| Speaking of work I saw my old psysiology/anatomy teacher, Ms. Z, and I thanked her for believing in me. I updated her about getting my ADHD meds and antidepressants, I told her about my path to graduate high school, and I told her about how her class was like a safe space for me. She had a lot of concern for my wellbeing and I felt so seen by her. I'm actually tearing up a bit while typing this and I'm pretty sure I saw her tearing up as well. I hope she feels proud of herself and knows that her path as a teacher was the correct one.
Y'know I was always dogshit at doing work, art or not. School was particularly horrible for me. I have pretty severe ADHD so I pretty much didn't do any work that required extra time to complete. Weirdly enough, summer school always came easy. Anyways, since going on my meds (a pretty high dose for the medication) I've been doing pretty good. I've felt more productive too! It could be raised a bit though. I'm on 50mg right now and the highest goes to 70mg if I'm not mistaken. I'm gonna try to reach out to my old teachers somehow to thank them for their patience and tell them how I'm doing much better now
Coding sucks so bad
June 1, 2025
I've been coding for this fuckass website all day since I woke up and I swear to god I am going insane I hate coding so much but at least this looks kinda cool?
I should probably take a break from my screen. I don't even know if I took my meds today not gonna lie
On the phone with raeya and listening to music just to make the experience more bearable
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